A 2018 Commitment

I have a sadness, ache that can sneak from the deep center of my chest– the part that is so utterly alone and so deeply connected to all. This ache weaves up my breath and stretches across the skin below my mouth. I ignore it mostly. It’s indeed comprised of feelings I “don’t have time to feel,” but still wish to be felt. I’m skilled at skipping feelings to problem solving and divining. It has been a useful skill during a rigorous year attending to crisis and hardships stirred by widespread exposure and cultivation of deeply corrupt, violent, exploitative, and poisonous intentions, words, and deeds. Then on stage or on the dance floor– I feel, release, move through, express, align, and become present with the joy, love, magic, pain, anger, blessings, and struggles. Through performance and hitting the dance floor, I connect with the Divine, Ancestors, Spirits, Universe, Ancient and Future and find Peace. In 2018, I am committed to listening, attending to, and being present with my pain outside of performing. To be present with the fears that commitment invokes. To listen to my deeper desires. And from the powerful mystery grief allows– conjure love, healing, and delightful possibilities. https://youtu.be/mX7PVif75MU